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Saturday, June 02, 2007

Top ten reasons why the GOP wants Fred Thompson

  1. If you’re going to tell American voters tall tales, you need to nominate the tallest candidate.
  2. GOP voters expect their politicians to tell them what they want to hear…and they insist that the nominee is able to execute that task well and with flair.
  3. GOP voters are skittish about men like John McCain…they prefer that their presidential candidates either have no military experience or that they know how to fake it.
  4. He has experience with partisan presidential politics…he starred in The Hunt For Red October…which should translate well into a red November.
  5. Rudi Giuliani brought law and order to New York City…but Fred Thompson brought Law & Order to every American home.
  6. He would do a much better job with natural disasters like Katrina…he learned the dangers of wind and water when filming Cape Fear.
  7. Actors make the best GOP candidates…you give them a script, they memorize it, and they repeat it over and over again.
  8. He won’t be afraid to continue the Bush administration’s torture policy…he’s already threatened to give Michael Moore electro-shock therapy in Cuba.
  9. Mitt Romney may have Ronald Reagan’s hair…but Fred Thompson can be counted on to continue the Reagan tradition of having only one wife at a time.
  10. Since the Clinton presidency, GOP voters want to be sure that their president prefers to smoke his cigars.

Courtesy of Thought Theater


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