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Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Jeb Blinked...

The Miami Herald printed a stunning account of a near showdown between state and local police at Schiavo's hospice. Jeb had engineered an operation to snatch Terry and reinsert her feeding tube, but when the local police signalled their intent to follow their court orders and disallow such an action, Jeb backed down.

Sunday, March 20, 2005

Gimme an F, Gimme a U....

Steroids, Schiavo, and now Cheerleading. Rupublicans really have their priorities straight. About as straight as one of my curly pubes!
The Friday night lights in Texas could soon be without bumpin' and grindin' cheerleaders. Legislation filed by Rep. Al Edwards would put an end to "sexually suggestive" performances at athletic events and other extracurricular competitions.

"It's just too sexually oriented, you know, the way they're shaking their behinds and going on, breaking it down," said Edwards, a 26-year veteran of the Texas House. "And then we say to them, 'don't get involved in sex unless it's marriage or love, it's dangerous out there' and yet the teachers and directors are helping them go through those kind of gyrations."
Thanks skin2skin

Thursday, March 10, 2005

Bush-Era Changes to Newly-Released "Bambi" DVD

  • Bambi’s Mom shoots first.
  • Flower the Skunk replaced with clearly heterosexual boar Steve-O.
  • Rampant nudity covered with black bars.
  • Man’s ominous entrance into forest redrawn with animals happily welcoming humans and their enchanting notion of “zoning permits.”
  • Thumper’s line “the water is stiff” removed from all prints.
  • Supposedly over-idyllic view of nature balanced out with flesh-eating trees.
  • Friend Owl instructs young animals to enter into covenant marriages.
  • Horrific forest fire now referred to by animals as excellent example of “controlled burning.”
  • Film’s cyclical plot of rebirth replaced with woodland creatures learning evils of premarital sex.
  • Mrs. Opossum expresses her disapproval of Bambi being raised by single parent.
  • Bambi fights another buck for right to place Ten Commandments statue in clearing.
  • First act’s focus on innocence of youth interspersed with terror alerts.
  • Bambi’s girlfriend Faline given less French-sounding name “Helen.”
  • Bambi’s long-lost father returns after fighting for “liberty” in Iraq…and Iran…and Syria…and…
  • Bambi transforms from a “young prince of the forest” into a freshman Republican Senator from Kentucky.
  • When Spring arrives the young animals’ thoughts turn to church camp.
  • Bambi grows up and leaves forest when he realizes nature belongs to the loggers.

Thanks to Drink at Work

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Gonzales' Veils

Our new Attorney General, fresh from his successful bids to sanction torture by proxy gave a speech last week that should have sent chills down the collective spine of America, but of course, no such thing happened, and the speech barely got reported. In his remarks to the Hoover Institution, he had the gall to read a transcript of a phone call made from the World Trade Center by a man who knew he was doomed. The crass exploitation of the WTC attacks remains the calling card of this administration.

Their second favourite tack is playing dumb. When you read something like the memo that Gonzales circulated to the Justice Department upon his assumption of its command, there is certainly a strong indication of a lack of mental prowess by a guy who writes something like, "My style of management is basically one of listening."

But to be lulled by Gonzales' lazy writing, the frequently tortured syntax of our Commander in Chief, or the absolutely unshakable posture of naivety of our new Secretary of State is a costly error. These facades set up the understimations which they so ruthlessly exploit. For instance, take Gonzales' thesis about obscenity from later on in his Hoover speech, "obscene materials are not protected by the First Amendment". The opacity of the statement is Kerry-esque. It says just enough to indicate a strong position without actually saying anything at all.

Legal precedent would indicate Gonzales is in the wrong, but what on earth does he mean by "obscene"? What are his criterion? What specific protection would such material not enjoy? And of course, that maddening obtuseness sets up a broad framework for Gonzales to exploit when he sees his openings, and like Salome, he'll shed his veils towards another brutal sally against civil liberties in American life.

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Is that dildo loaded?

Alabama had outlawed the sale of what some call "marital aids." The U.S. Supreme Court last week declined to review the 11th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals ruling in Williams v. Alabama that upholds the 1998 ban.

Sell "any device designed or marketed as useful primarily for the stimulation of human genital organs" and risk a $10,000 fine and a year in jail. A Southern jail.