Bush-Era Changes to Newly-Released "Bambi" DVD
- Bambi’s Mom shoots first.
- Flower the Skunk replaced with clearly heterosexual boar Steve-O.
- Rampant nudity covered with black bars.
- Man’s ominous entrance into forest redrawn with animals happily welcoming humans and their enchanting notion of “zoning permits.”
- Thumper’s line “the water is stiff” removed from all prints.
- Supposedly over-idyllic view of nature balanced out with flesh-eating trees.
- Friend Owl instructs young animals to enter into covenant marriages.
- Horrific forest fire now referred to by animals as excellent example of “controlled burning.”
- Film’s cyclical plot of rebirth replaced with woodland creatures learning evils of premarital sex.
- Mrs. Opossum expresses her disapproval of Bambi being raised by single parent.
- Bambi fights another buck for right to place Ten Commandments statue in clearing.
- First act’s focus on innocence of youth interspersed with terror alerts.
- Bambi’s girlfriend Faline given less French-sounding name “Helen.”
- Bambi’s long-lost father returns after fighting for “liberty” in Iraq…and Iran…and Syria…and…
- Bambi transforms from a “young prince of the forest” into a freshman Republican Senator from Kentucky.
- When Spring arrives the young animals’ thoughts turn to church camp.
- Bambi grows up and leaves forest when he realizes nature belongs to the loggers.
Thanks to Drink at Work