You might be a Bush supporter if…

1. …you think Spongebob Squarepants is a homosexual, but Condoleeza Rice isn’t.

2. …you think “the hood” is what you wear to a Klan rally.

3. …you think “Yale” is what you do to Dale Earnhardt Jr.’s name during a NASCAR race.

4. …you believe RU486 is a science fiction movie.

5. …you turn on the radio whenever someone says you need to “rush.”

6. …you think “hip hop” is what you do to avoid the homeless person hanging out in front of your building.

7. …you believe that a cut in your family’s income makes it harder for you to pay your bills, but a cut in the federal government’s income makes it easier to pay its bills.

8. …you think “fatwah” is the obese Chinese guy who runs the restaurant around the corner from your house.

9. …you think Muhammad Ali must be a member of Al Qaeda.

10. …you think Jewish holocaust survivors voted for Pat Buchanan.

11. …you think Arnold Schwarzenegger is a gentleman, and Bill Clinton is a pervert.

12. …you boycott Heinz Ketchup because you think the former wife of the Heinz heir somehow controls the company instead of its board of directors and stockholders.

13. …you get incredibly offended when someone says something nice about your lesbian daughter.

14. …you think Nicolette Sheridan is a slut, but Anne Coulter is a lady.

15. …you think freedom means making up someone else’s mind for them.

16. …you think it’s a victory for freedom and democracy if Iraqis vote in Iraq, but “voter fraud” and an attempt to “steal the election” if minority Democrats are permitted to vote in the United States.