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Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Bush for President!



Why Bush should be Iraq's President.

• The United States is already on Bush autopilot; his agenda is safe in the hands of Dick Cheney, who wrote a lot of the playbook anyway.

• Karl Rove is getting bored and needs a real challenge, and Iraqi campaigning makes the rhetorical phrase "political bloodletting" real.

• Bush could wear his "mission accomplished" flight suit all the time.
• Iraq is running out of its own politicians.

• Short campaigns mean less time to be caught in tongue-twisting contradictions.

• Bush can institute his Social Security reforms without carping from elderly voters' lobby or economists — Iraqis may not live long enough anyway.

• It guarantees that the U.S. gets exactly the kind of leadership it wants in Baghdad.

• As a Texan, he'll fit right into a country that has more guns than cars.

• Iraq has a crying need for someone who knows the "awl bidness."

• The climate is more like Texas' than D.C.'s.

• Many Iraqi people also speak English with an accent.

• Unmarried daughters have to live at home and stay out of trouble.

• Thanks to Saddam Hussein's precedent, no problem defying international treaties.

• He could find himself signing a death warrant for Hussein, the guy who "tried to kill my dad."

• No alcohol — no temptation to fall off the wagon.

• No term limits.

• Iraqis love faith-based initiatives.
Thanks to the LAtimes


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