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Thursday, July 01, 2004

The Republican Belief System

Things that Republicans have to believe in order to be a Republican today:


1. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.

2. The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.

3. Government should relax regulation of Big Business and Big Money but crack down on individuals who use marijuana to relieve the pain of illness.

4. "Standing Tall for America" means firing your workers and moving their jobs to India.

5. A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multinational corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.

6. Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.

7. The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.

8. Group sex and drug use are degenerate sins unless you someday run for governor of California as a Republican.

9. If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.

10. A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies, then demand their cooperation and money.

11. HMOs and insurance companies have the interest of the public at heart.

12. Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing health care to all Americans is socialism.

13. Global warming is junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.

14. Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.

15. A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense. A president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.

16. Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.

17. The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's driving record is none of our business.

18. You support states' rights, which means Attorney General John Ashcroft can tell states what local voter initiatives they have a right to adopt.

19. What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant.

20. Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.


4 Comments:

Blogger Broman said...

Nasty Boy,
You are still trying to convince yourself that you are intelligent?
Try this,, try to let go of your stupidity and your hatred for America and reasonable people.

I miss you my little friend.

Jon

1:53 PM  
Blogger Broman said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

1:53 PM  
Blogger nastyboy said...

Jon,
It really bothers you that there are people out there that do not goose-step beside racist homophobes like yourself, huh?

Damn man, how many sites do you have to infest?

First you get driven off Banned on the Run, then you get bitchslapped at BattleZone and leave, along with your alter-ego, and now you show up here. Unbelievable!

As for your blogsite. If you're going to copy someone, you might as well do it from the best, right?
Thanks!
I guess you can't think up your own ideas.

Nastyboy

6:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Broman, haven't you taken enough of a beating ?

Why'd ya run away from the Battle Zone ?

You banned me from Naked Talk, but little do you know, I could get back on any time I want to.


Love ya man!

Failed Lab Experiement

6:52 PM  

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