Iraq Turnover Schedule

1:00 PM: Pre-Turnover Special hosted by Dennis Miller
2:00 PM: Donald Rumsfeld gives ceremonial prisoner leash to Iraqi Security Force
3:00 PM: U.S.-Iraqi Glee Club sings “Proud to Be an American”
4:00 PM: Iyad Allawi declares martial law
4:30 PM: Jerry Falwell leads the Mormon Tabernacle Choir in "Onward Christian Soldiers"
5:00 PM: Flag ceremony/Ann Coulter striptease, music by U.S. Marine Band
6:00 PM: Civil war officially begins

Ironic Times